We’re here to give you the facts, so you can make the decision which is right for you.
Just because you think all your friends are doing it, doesn’t mean they are and that you should be. Ultimately, it’s up to you, and it’s important that anyone having sex does so because they want to and not due to peer pressure.
It’s also vital you know the law before you decide to have sex. On the Isle of Man, it’s clear: sexual activity with a person under the age of 16 is illegal and can carry serious penalties.
Read more about Isle of Man Law on underage sex and sexual health here.
You should only have sex when you’re ready and if you aren’t 100% ready you don’t have to have sex. Don’t feel that you have to say yes to please others or because they pressure you to do so – and always say no if you don’t feel ready. You decide what you want to do and what’s right for you – not them, it's up to you! You will know when the time is right for you!
Maybe you don’t see that you are being put under pressure, but if any of the things below apply to you, then you could be:
Get more facts about sex here.
Deciding to have sex for the first time is a big thing and you may be nervous – it’s important that as a couple you are comfortable with each other and can do what makes you both feel good. At first, it might be awkward and not go exactly as planned. Remember, even if you do decide to have sex, it is completely OK to say no or stop at any point if you don’t want to continue. Nobody has the right to make you do anything you’re not happy to do, so only have sex if you are really happy to. That’s true for the first time and every time you have sex.
Remember sex under 16 is against the law and you and or the person you’re having sex with can be spoken to by the Police and maybe taken to court. Perhaps you have an older brother/sister/cousin/aunt/uncle that you trust to talk to about your feelings and who you can talk to in confidence – who you know won’t share the talk with anyone else but who will have the knowledge and experience to help you decide what’s right for you to do.
But if you feel it’s 100% the right thing for you and your partner to do despite all that, then make sure you are safe – be in a safe place, use contraception to prevent unintended pregnancy, even the first time and yes, girls do get pregnant at 14 years old and boys can become a dad! Use a condom to protect against sexually transmitted infections such as Chlamydia.
For more information and advice on unintended pregnancies and STIs, see our ‘Life after the night before’ page. It includes contact details for the Isle of Man Family Planning Clinic, the GUM Clinic at Noble’s Hospital and the UK sexual health website, Brook.